I don't know why but I swear when I do exercise I put on weight and when I don't I lose it.

Tonight I weighed myself and I was 49kg..what the fuckkkk, probaly because my dad forced me to eat dinner (chinese) and said that I'm developing a 'mental illness'. I got freaked out and denied but had to prove that I did eat. Which ruined my whole day. All I had was half a piece of wholemeal bread and a poached egg.

My 40 kg goal is looking so out of reach atm, I'm so depressed and whilst sitting here typing I can feel my stomach rolls bulging over my pants. I want to vomit just at the thought of it...not to mention how sick I feel from all the dinner I ate.

I hope everyone else is doing better than I am

Nikki

xx