fear

Way too scared to weigh myself yet...few more days and hopefully I have lost weight.

I feel like I have a bit but I haven't been eating all day and then binging and purging in the night.

My head is screwed...been with my boyfriend for 3 years and considering ending the relationship...I feel like we aren't going anywhere...but that is probably because of me because I feel like time is running out constantly.

Anxiety and clocks are my worst enemies.

We are only searching for perfection

What is so bad about that?

Back again..are you sick of hearing that yet?

I'm back once again running back to blogger and tumblr for support and motivation.
These past two weeks have been pretty full on.

I vomited up blood last night and had a nose bleed...went to the hospital and mum went mental at me.

Dropping weight.. double digits please come back I don't care about kilos I just want  double digits in lbs.. miss the days when 88 was my number.

I've done skipping and crunches and push ups and I'm going for a run as soon as I finish this.
Then I will get back and do my assignments and then make banana bread.

I'm going to the movies tonight... I'm going to make sure I prepare fruit and carrot sticks so I don't eat what my mum eats.


Nikki xoxo