“I began to measure things in absence instead of presence.”

Feeling like a piece of shit right now.. I have all this anxiety and it's now that I can understand why people would cut..because maybe it would relieve the stress, one pain suffered to take away another.


“Bear in mind, people with eating disorders tend to be both competitive and intelligent. We are incredibly perfectionistic. We often excel in school,athletics,artistic pursuits. We also tend to quit without warning. Refuse to go to school,drop out,quit jobs,leave lovers,move,lose all our money. We get sick of being impressive. Rather,we tire of having to seem impressive. As a rule,most of us never really believed we were any good in the first place.” 

No moon and no sun

I've been doing okay, I lost 1.5 kg but then went to a wedding and ruined myself again..too scared to weigh myself so I am just going to wait a few days and see if I can get back to normal.

Mum is getting suspicious again, and quite a few people have said that I need to gain weight. They are all wrong and if they think for one second that I believe there lies, I don't...I know what game they are playing and it won't work.

Thinspo:

Just looked through all my posts from the beginning..what have I done to myself from 55kg-40kg-52kg now, I'm a mess.

I still have my disordered eating habits just now I have lost a bit of control..I go back and forth between fasting and binging.

I think I'm back though for about the millionth time, I need this, really bad.

So here it is 52 kg, lonely and need to confide in Ana once again.

Thinspo for tonight....







Nikki
xoxo