1 kg to go and it's christmas. What a great way to start the morning, I've just been eating shit. I made a lot of christmas food gifts so basically I have been eating as I cook and I think I have a food baby.
I'm trying to remember what I did to be 43 kg. How I had the strength. How I could say NO. How I could lie excessively to avoid food. I'm trying to remember how I had control.
I wish the people around me would understand...I just want to be skinny, for myself not for anyone else.
I'd rather be skinny than have anything else in the world.
I've started to avoid my boyfriend because when I am with him all I do is eat excessive amounts of food.
I'm destroying myself. I know it. But I won't stop it, I can't stop it.
I just need someone that is in this with me. Someone who will listen to what I want for once.
Someone who won't take advantage of me.
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