Reminiscing the past...

Reminiscing the past, when I was skinny, when people actually read and commented on my blog, when I was positive.
I lost 4 kg in 2 weeks and now I cant even lose 2 kg in 2 weeks. I'm ashamed because today I ate chocolate biscuits, chocolate ice cream and tomato sauce and fat free mayonaise and prawns and I stuffed myself silly. I'm a fat blubber. Everything jiggles.
I don't have the strength to purge but I have to, I NEED to.

I need to start believing in myself again, because that is how I lose weight by encouraging myself.

I need to lose weight for myself and to get all the motherfuckers back who have ever hurt me. Which is pretty much everyone in my life. Friends are fake, sometimes I wish I could kill myself and write a note to all of them.
This is how my note would go:

Hey guys, remember me? The girl you bitched about and backstabbed, and criticised and abandoned? Yer well she is dead and guess what it's all thanks to you guys! Brownie points for you!! Thanks for the endless birthday cakes that I made every single mother fucking one of you that I was never appreciated for. Thanks for being there when I was sad. Thanks for giving me someone to talk to and most of all thanks heaps for being my friend!!
 Yep that's pretty much how it would go, I would probably add in a few specific names but yer just being a crazy bitch atm because I'm so fucking fat.

So from now on, positivity will take over me, I will lose weight and encourage myself, and buy myself pretty things (if i deserve them).

I'm thinking ABC diet starts tomorrow.

Bye bye for now.

Nikki
xoxo