Hi Ho, Hi Ho off to the doctors I go... wow I am so lame.


I've had a pretty shitty week over all.
1. I'm still fat
2. Stressed about my exams which start next thursday..which I have hardly studied for.
3. I'm broke
4. I have no scales
5. I have no motivation for exercise
6. I'm sick
7. My parents suck
The list is endless really.

I'm running out of places to hide, yesterday I stood on my balcony and looked out I felt the dizziness I get from smoking and wondered what it would be like to jump or 'mysteriously' fall. Life would be easy then I wouldn't have to worry about what I ate because ghosts don't eat. I want to be a ghost.

Ana is failing me or I am failing her, but there is always Mia one step away whispering sweet things in my ear.

Tell me, do you restrict your calorie intake? or do you try eat nothing at all?
And how many calories do you eat a day?

I don't care if it hurts, I want to have control, I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul.

Nikki
xoxo